These basically work for feedback, too. Copying mostly whole-cloth from Kottke until the book he references magically appears via Prime.
- Attempt to re-express your target’s position so clearly, vividly and fairly that your target says: “Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way.”
- List any points of agreement (especially if they are not matters of general or widespread agreement).
- Mention anything you have learned from your target.
- Only then are you permitted to say so much as a word of rebuttal or criticism.
This *absolutely works*. Try it. See what I’m talking about.