The Sports Guy

I love reading Bill Simmons’ “The Sports Guy” columns on They’re laugh-out-loud funny.

Referring to the game-winning Vinatieri kick on Sunday:

“Watching Manning celebrate on the sidelines while we were at my friend Jimmy’s house, I made the perfect analogy that I can’t use here because it’s a family Web site, so I’ll pass along the sanitized version: Manning looked like a guy who had just spent the past five years dating someone who never made him chocolate chip cookies, and now, he found himself dating a girl who made the best chocolate chip cookies in town. And the look on his face was like, “Woo hoo! I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES! I’m gonna get chocolate chip cookies all the time!!! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!”"

Here’s the whole article.

Lakers highlights are making me happy. This is even better:

Andrew Bynum: The Prince of Juvenation
My friend Matt “Money” Smith (a radio host for the Lakers) summed things up last week after I sent him the obligatory “thanks for warning me about Bynum” e-mail: “I watched him play every minute of every game last season and Summer League this year, so I can say with great certainty … this came out of nowhere. NOBODY, I mean NOBODY thought he was capable of this. There’s no reason to think it will fall off either. His moves are legit, and who’s 7-1/290 to slow him down?”

That’s the thing: Maybe he’ll be up and down this season, but when he’s up, is there another center in the league quite like him? He protects the rim, passes out of double teams, has great hands around the basket, up-fakes on his jump-hooks, rebounds in traffic, even has a motor that keeps going and going (unlike a stiff like Eddy Curry). I’m not sure what’s missing here. This is stunning. This is startling. There’s almost no precedent for it. Just what the Lakers needed: More obscenely good luck. Meanwhile, I have to watch Al Jefferson whip jump-hooks off the front of the rim for the third straight season. I will now pour scalding hot water down my pants.”

The article.